ScoreRanking 2989points

Average daily score / Average monthly score 30 / 127

Average entries per day / Average entries per month 1 / 28

Best tweet ever

440
Points
Latin derivations are inherently mellifluous to the ear of the linguist, but to the tone deaf, it's all Greek.
22 September 2009

Latest tweets

  • 15
    Points
    Dave wanted to spruce up the party by attaching a tinsel festoon to his nipples. The mistake was to use safety pins.
    28 January 2010
  • 16
    Points
    The denouement of Little Red Riding Hood should have her charged with break and enter, theft and malicious damage & go away for a long time.
    27 January 2010
  • 10
    Points
    Did you see that guy get kicked in the schadenfreude?
    26 January 2010
  • 21
    Points
    In these harsh economic times, the Hamburglar took whatever work he could, dressing up as the harbinger of cholesterol.
    22 January 2010
  • 25
    Points
    "This report card is completely ineffable!" "Calm down Dad, there's no need to swear."
    20 January 2010
  • 30
    Points
    I have a fitting condign for lads whose pants are around their bum - a cardigan.
    19 January 2010
  • 16
    Points
    My mother was always saying to me, "If you had moiety of common sense, you'd be dangerous."
    16 January 2010
  • 16
    Points
    Prior to becoming a champion ice dance, her agent suggested she change her name from torpor to Torvill.
    14 January 2010
  • 21
    Points
    My erstwhile broad mind and narrow waist have changed places.
    13 January 2010
  • 16
    Points
    My mind is ephemeral. Shame about the waist line.
    12 January 2010
  • 22
    Points
    onomatopoeia - I don't like the sound of that.
    10 January 2010
  • 40
    Points
    His lissome movements with his zimmer frame made the old ladies of the nursing home drop their dentures like giddy schoolgirls.
    09 January 2010
  • 30
    Points
    From beneath her diaphanous negligee, he could see the curvature of her breasts and the clothes tag that read, Highly Inflammable.
    08 January 2010
  • 15
    Points
    Dear, I think the drought has broken. I can smell petrichor. No dear, that's just the petrol-chemical plant down the road.
    07 January 2010
  • 27
    Points
    Cow poetry expounds on the bucolic nirvana that is chewing grass, ruminating on it and thoughts of doing the farmer in.
    05 January 2010
  • 15
    Points
    I keep mixing up my apostrophe and epiphany so all I end up with are abbreviated revelations where I don't find out the ending.
    03 January 2010
  • 16
    Points
    Act like a ninja with furtive flatulence. Strike silently as you whisper with clenched fist.
    01 January 2010
  • 15
    Points
    A wassail to the new year. Peace upon your house.
    31 December 2009
  • 11
    Points
    2010 is imminently incipient.
    30 December 2009
  • 15
    Points
    The propriety of "Pull my finger" is an act of impropriety.
    29 December 2009
  • 10
    Points
    I have a plethora of Christmas cheer that has taken up residence around my stomach.
    28 December 2009
  • 25
    Points
    Do you want this medal of accolade or a chest to pin it on?
    27 December 2009
  • 10
    Points
    @routermonkey in regards to the elephant, should that be a gargantuan tusk?
    26 December 2009
  • 15
    Points
    Dear Santa, I don't to seem like a sycophant, but I was wondering if you could put in a good word with the baby Jesus for me this year.
    22 December 2009
  • 22
    Points
    Dad bellowed: "If you want your southern hemisphere to have an increase in global warming, keep that racket up."
    21 December 2009
  • 12
    Points
    The first invasion of the republic of kumquat ended up being known as the marmalade maneuvers
    20 December 2009
  • 27
    Points
    It is ironic that pulchritudinous is such an ugly sounding word for a beautiful meaning.
    19 December 2009
  • 32
    Points
    To be old and wise, you must first be young and quixotic.
    18 December 2009
  • 28
    Points
    A mother-in-law is implacable when you destroy her prize roses.
    17 December 2009
  • 15
    Points
    Why is it that the anomaly just looks like everyone else?
    16 December 2009

Awards

Top 20 09 January 2010 Lissome
40
Points
Top 20 03 December 2009 Defenestrate
45
Points
Top 20 09 November 2009 Ailurophile
50
Points
Top 20 27 October 2009 Unrequited
35
Points
Top 20 23 October 2009 Lassitude
35
Points

Thought of and designed by atto. Improved and realised by Johnston North.