ScoreRanking 2097points

Average daily score / Average monthly score 34 / 90

Average entries per day / Average entries per month 1 / 20

Best tweet ever

159
Points
My friend just told me that her sex life produces an unbearable ennui. I don't know what that means, but I know it's bad.
21 September 2009

Latest tweets

  • 19
    Points
    With each passing day, my memory grows more evanescent. I forget what that means.
    14 December 2009
  • 22
    Points
    Trivia for artwiculators. Gossamer is the name of the furry orange monster from Bugs Bunny. He appeared in only 3 episodes.
    13 December 2009
  • 18
    Points
    Some men think foreplay is nothing but fribble. To them I say, "such drivel!"
    11 December 2009
  • 10
    Points
    "I am not a fribble. I just like a little fribblish now and then, "Dora claimed as she slipped into something more comfortable.
    11 December 2009
  • 61
    Points
    A paucity of evidence pointed to only one reasonable conclusion: Joe had, in fact, tried feeding the lions by himself.
    09 December 2009
  • 15
    Points
    I hate French jokes. They're crepuscular!
    04 December 2009
  • 25
    Points
    When the mirth is at its highest, my girth seems to be at its greatest.
    01 December 2009
  • 30
    Points
    Take it from a Jew, to kvetch serves only one purpose: to make whining impossible for everyone but me. Is that so hard to understand?
    30 November 2009
  • 20
    Points
    I know a Philistine who lives in Bedrock. His name is Fred.
    29 November 2009
  • 30
    Points
    No one can talk turkey like a pilgrim.
    26 November 2009
  • 25
    Points
    I'm looking forward to a sumptuous Thanksgiving meal tomorrow. Too bad I have to share it with my family.
    25 November 2009
  • 10
    Points
    Indeed! RT @chrisdetar Wow. I am so glad that the John and Kate foofaraw will finally end tonight.
    24 November 2009
  • 50
    Points
    "Foofaraw," said the Queen. "If I had balls, I could be king too."
    24 November 2009
  • 15
    Points
    My doctor says I contracted foofaraw, a cross between foot-in-mouth disease and lock jaw.
    24 November 2009
  • 90
    Points
    As much as I like to consider myself an amiable woman, I'm really just a bitch who can act.
    23 November 2009
  • 30
    Points
    I accept anonymity with equanimity and some ambiguity. Who am I? I dont even know, but I don't worry about it.
    18 November 2009
  • 25
    Points
    Jane hurled her Scrabble tiles across the room. "Two 72-point words in one game!" But nothing could ruin Sam's sense of equanimity.
    18 November 2009
  • 25
    Points
    Jane liked to be a daredevil, but she never thought she'd have to live with the stigma of "doing something strange for a bit of change."
    17 November 2009
  • 9
    Points
    Loaf & Malinger, a new tv comedy, was cancelled due to lack of interest. That and it wasn't very funny.
    16 November 2009
  • 20
    Points
    My imbrication flared up again, and now I look like the creature from the black lagoon.
    14 November 2009
  • 15
    Points
    Sara assured herself she would learn to love John through propinquity, but that's because he was the only neighbor within 100 miles.
    10 November 2009
  • 55
    Points
    When an ailurophile meets an ailurophobe, you're bound to get a catfight.
    09 November 2009
  • 70
    Points
    If ever sex becomes perfunctory, well, then I guess it's time to try having it with my husband.
    07 November 2009
  • 30
    Points
    Faced with a litany of problems, Ben decided now was not the time for a fight: "These are not the droids you're looking for."
    06 November 2009
  • 25
    Points
    A house in the Hamptons, a seaside villa in Monaco, and now an estate in Cyprus? Bill really is living in the lagniappe of luxury.
    05 November 2009
  • 20
    Points
    When Peaches changed her name to Lady Lagniappe, word spread it was because she started to offer a little surprise, and business plummeted.
    05 November 2009
  • 13
    Points
    Ha! RT @caslexplorers: Not to be too contrarian What's so hard about riparian Need help call your librarian My local one's septuagenarian
    04 November 2009
  • 40
    Points
    As Ernest tapped on his typewriter, he decided he might want to revise the title of his latest book, "The Old Man and the Riparian Zone."
    04 November 2009
  • 50
    Points
    Among Joe's more esoteric pursuits, he especially loved gathering animal dung, a collection he lovingly called "the remains of the day."
    03 November 2009
  • 95
    Points
    After countless surgeries, Belinda was but a vestige of her former self...and now named Bill.
    02 November 2009

Awards

Top 20 09 December 2009 Paucity
61
Points
Top 20 24 November 2009 Foofaraw
50
Points
Winner 23 November 2009 Amiable
90
Points
Top 20 09 November 2009 Ailurophile
55
Points
Top 5 07 November 2009 Perfunctory
70
Points

Daily stats

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Thought of and designed by atto. Improved and realised by Johnston North.