ScoreRanking 2281points

Average daily score / Average monthly score 34 / 70

Average entries per day / Average entries per month 1 / 15

Best tweet ever

159
Points
My friend just told me that her sex life produces an unbearable ennui. I don't know what that means, but I know it's bad.
21 September 2009

Latest tweets

  • 19
    Points
    What the agroof is going on in here?
    04 June 2010
  • 20
    Points
    Imagine if Jerry had asked, "Do women know about wizen?" Changes everything.
    16 April 2010
  • 30
    Points
    Betsy didn't like when strange men winked at her, so when a strange man winked at her, she yelled, "Hey man, you got sumpin inure eye."
    09 April 2010
  • 44
    Points
    What the f$@k is obloquy? Some stupid f$#king word I can't f$#king pronounce, let alone use in a sentence. Well, don't I feel stupid.
    08 April 2010
  • 22
    Points
    How to flummox a lummox: tie his shoes together.
    07 April 2010
  • 24
    Points
    Even though @PuddleMonkey disappeared for months, she has the gumption to claim she'll win artwiculate today. The nerve!
    05 April 2010
  • 25
    Points
    Tomboy, virago, warrior woman...call me what you want, just don't call me in the morning.
    04 April 2010
  • 19
    Points
    With each passing day, my memory grows more evanescent. I forget what that means.
    14 December 2009
  • 22
    Points
    Trivia for artwiculators. Gossamer is the name of the furry orange monster from Bugs Bunny. He appeared in only 3 episodes.
    13 December 2009
  • 18
    Points
    Some men think foreplay is nothing but fribble. To them I say, "such drivel!"
    11 December 2009
  • 10
    Points
    "I am not a fribble. I just like a little fribblish now and then, "Dora claimed as she slipped into something more comfortable.
    11 December 2009
  • 61
    Points
    A paucity of evidence pointed to only one reasonable conclusion: Joe had, in fact, tried feeding the lions by himself.
    09 December 2009
  • 15
    Points
    I hate French jokes. They're crepuscular!
    04 December 2009
  • 25
    Points
    When the mirth is at its highest, my girth seems to be at its greatest.
    01 December 2009
  • 30
    Points
    Take it from a Jew, to kvetch serves only one purpose: to make whining impossible for everyone but me. Is that so hard to understand?
    30 November 2009
  • 20
    Points
    I know a Philistine who lives in Bedrock. His name is Fred.
    29 November 2009
  • 30
    Points
    No one can talk turkey like a pilgrim.
    26 November 2009
  • 25
    Points
    I'm looking forward to a sumptuous Thanksgiving meal tomorrow. Too bad I have to share it with my family.
    25 November 2009
  • 10
    Points
    Indeed! RT @chrisdetar Wow. I am so glad that the John and Kate foofaraw will finally end tonight.
    24 November 2009
  • 50
    Points
    "Foofaraw," said the Queen. "If I had balls, I could be king too."
    24 November 2009
  • 15
    Points
    My doctor says I contracted foofaraw, a cross between foot-in-mouth disease and lock jaw.
    24 November 2009
  • 90
    Points
    As much as I like to consider myself an amiable woman, I'm really just a bitch who can act.
    23 November 2009
  • 30
    Points
    I accept anonymity with equanimity and some ambiguity. Who am I? I dont even know, but I don't worry about it.
    18 November 2009
  • 25
    Points
    Jane hurled her Scrabble tiles across the room. "Two 72-point words in one game!" But nothing could ruin Sam's sense of equanimity.
    18 November 2009
  • 25
    Points
    Jane liked to be a daredevil, but she never thought she'd have to live with the stigma of "doing something strange for a bit of change."
    17 November 2009
  • 9
    Points
    Loaf & Malinger, a new tv comedy, was cancelled due to lack of interest. That and it wasn't very funny.
    16 November 2009
  • 20
    Points
    My imbrication flared up again, and now I look like the creature from the black lagoon.
    14 November 2009
  • 15
    Points
    Sara assured herself she would learn to love John through propinquity, but that's because he was the only neighbor within 100 miles.
    10 November 2009
  • 55
    Points
    When an ailurophile meets an ailurophobe, you're bound to get a catfight.
    09 November 2009
  • 70
    Points
    If ever sex becomes perfunctory, well, then I guess it's time to try having it with my husband.
    07 November 2009

Awards

Top 20 09 December 2009 Paucity
61
Points
Top 20 24 November 2009 Foofaraw
50
Points
Winner 23 November 2009 Amiable
90
Points
Top 20 09 November 2009 Ailurophile
55
Points
Top 5 07 November 2009 Perfunctory
70
Points

Daily stats

13 Jun 2010 0 points
12 Jun 2010 0 points
11 Jun 2010 0 points
10 Jun 2010 0 points
09 Jun 2010 0 points
08 Jun 2010 0 points
07 Jun 2010 0 points
06 Jun 2010 0 points
05 Jun 2010 0 points
04 Jun 2010 19 points

Thought of and designed by atto. Improved and realised by Johnston North.