ScoreRanking 1232points

Average daily score / Average monthly score 22 / 41

Average entries per day / Average entries per month 1 / 14

Best tweet ever

50
Points
Conan the Riparian is the slightly less awesome second cousin of that guy with the Austrian accent.
04 November 2009

Latest tweets

  • 15
    Points
    ♫ ♪ Wassail the ocean blue, and our sauced-up ship's a beauty. Not sober men nor true, inattentive to our duty ♪ ♫
    31 December 2009
  • 20
    Points
    The weight of the world was incipient from the moment Peter Paternoster's anti-gravity chamber gave up the ghost.
    30 December 2009
  • 20
    Points
    My propensity for propriety is possibly pernicious.
    29 December 2009
  • 18
    Points
    Have yourself a jocund little Christmas, may your jock be tight...
    25 December 2009
  • 20
    Points
    It was with intense gusto that Alvin began dancing his spastic holiday jig; much less so after tripping and crushing his Schweddy Balls.
    24 December 2009
  • 27
    Points
    Hemisphere leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to geometry.
    21 December 2009
  • 23
    Points
    Her recent amnesia was ironically evocative of that time I forgot my pants.
    10 December 2009
  • 35
    Points
    Raillery is not something you get cited for if caught peeing in the subway. Unless, of course, you do it in jest.
    07 December 2009
  • 30
    Points
    Had it been christened "The Crepuscular Saga", I doubt the juggernaut we love to hate would have built up enough steam to warrant ridicule.
    04 December 2009
  • 35
    Points
    Do not defenestrate your shite as the monkeys or the heathen might.
    03 December 2009
  • 10
    Points
    The elderly lady and I came to fisticuffs over the right to purchase those Elmo Tickle Hands. I won, of course. But I'm not proud. Much.
    02 December 2009
  • 30
    Points
    I kvetch therefore I am.
    30 November 2009
  • 30
    Points
    The sumptuous cornucopia of her intricately prepared Thanksgiving feast was marred only by her decidedly pantless uncle.
    25 November 2009
  • 15
    Points
    At this time of year, is it the foofaraw that causes the frenzied free-for-alls... or merely the pseudo deals?
    24 November 2009
  • 25
    Points
    Without a properly functioning spacebar, "am i able" is quite amiable.
    23 November 2009
  • 25
    Points
    The epitome of her distress was the decision regarding this dress.
    20 November 2009
  • 10
    Points
    The intricate imbrication of Percy's lorica squamata was unquestionably impressive but quite unnecessary for battling his online foes.
    14 November 2009
  • 35
    Points
    The urge to ogle Olive obviously overwhelmed Orson well beyond his capacity to resist. So he didn't.
    13 November 2009
  • 20
    Points
    The berries appeared esculent, but not having followed in his father's botanist footsteps, Reginald suddenly found himself in a quandary.
    11 November 2009
  • 40
    Points
    Professor Pitt's propinquity to the open flame of his bunsen burner, coupled with his highly flammable hairpiece, was a hot topic on campus.
    10 November 2009
  • 40
    Points
    An ailurophile with severe pet allergies is quite possibly the worst case of irony this side of Alanis Morisette.
    09 November 2009
  • 20
    Points
    RE: Litany. “But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions as the heathen do: for they think that they will be heard for their much speaking."
    06 November 2009
  • 25
    Points
    The only lagniappe I ever received was a random school beating by a kid who went by the name "Gambit".
    05 November 2009
  • 50
    Points
    Conan the Riparian is the slightly less awesome second cousin of that guy with the Austrian accent.
    04 November 2009
  • 15
    Points
    The esoteric use of a belt was made possible by his lack of pants.
    03 November 2009
  • 15
    Points
    Any vestige of his prestige cannot be found in his current demeanor.
    02 November 2009
  • 40
    Points
    I enjoy my acrimony in bite-sized pieces. It's easier to swallow that way.
    31 October 2009
  • 15
    Points
    See that girl? That one, over there? I heard that she's so cloying her farts smell like cotton candy.
    30 October 2009
  • 15
    Points
    Oh, vile mondegreen! Excuse me while I kiss this guy.
    29 October 2009
  • 40
    Points
    A scintilla of inspiration is worth a world of exclamation.
    28 October 2009

Awards

Top 20 04 November 2009 Riparian
50
Points
Top 20 31 October 2009 Acrimony
40
Points
Top 20 28 October 2009 Scintilla
40
Points
Top 20 30 September 2009 Aplomb
40
Points

Daily stats

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